Helping your parents set up LPA is one of the most caring things you can do. It ensures they're looked after according to their wishes if they become unable to manage their own affairs. But it's a sensitive conversation that needs handling with care.
Why Parents Need LPA
Without an LPA, if your parent loses mental capacity:
- You can't access their bank accounts to pay bills
- You can't sell their house if they need care
- You can't make decisions about their medical treatment
- You'd need to apply for deputyship (costs £1,000s, takes months)
An LPA lets them choose who they trust to help them.
Having the Conversation
When to Talk About It
- Before any health concerns arise - ideally when they're in good health
- When a natural topic comes up (news story, friend's experience)
- When doing other planning (updating wills, retirement planning)
- When you notice early signs of difficulty managing
How to Approach It
- Don't be pushy: Frame it as planning, not taking control
- Share your own plans: "I've just done mine, it made me think..."
- Focus on their choice: "It lets YOU decide who helps you"
- Address their fears: "It doesn't mean giving up control now"
- Involve siblings: Present a united family approach
Common Objections and Responses
"I don't need it, I'm fine"
That's exactly why now is the right time. You can only make an LPA while you're fine. Once you need it, it's too late.
"I don't want to give up control"
An LPA doesn't take away any control. You still make all your own decisions while you can. It's just insurance for the future.
"I can't afford it"
An LPA costs £82-500. Deputyship (the alternative) costs £1,000-5,000+. LPA is the affordable option.
"I'll think about it"
That's fine, but can we set a date to talk about it again? These things often get put off indefinitely.
Signs It's Becoming Urgent
If you notice these signs, the conversation becomes more urgent:
- Forgetting to pay bills or paying twice
- Confusion about finances
- Missing medical appointments
- Difficulty following conversations
- Being targeted by scammers
- Memory problems getting worse
What If They've Already Lost Capacity?
If your parent can no longer understand what an LPA is and make the decision themselves, it's too late for LPA. Instead, you'll need to apply for deputyship through the Court of Protection.
Deputyship:
- Costs £371+ in court fees, plus solicitor fees
- Takes 4-6 months typically
- Requires annual reporting and supervision fees (£320/year)
- Court decides who becomes deputy, not your parent
This is why setting up LPA early is so important.
Making LPA Easy for Your Parents
Offer to Help With the Process
- Research providers and get quotes
- Be there during meetings
- Help with forms (but let them make decisions)
- Handle the registration paperwork
Consider a Home Visit Service
Many LPA providers offer home visits. This is easier for elderly parents than travelling to an office.
Don't Pressure Them on Attorney Choice
Your parent chooses their attorneys. Even if you hope to be chosen, let them decide freely. They might choose you, another sibling, or a professional.
Who Should Be Their Attorney?
Common Choices
- Adult children (often all of them acting jointly and severally)
- Spouse (if they're likely to remain capable)
- Other trusted family members
- Professional attorneys (solicitors)
What If Siblings Don't Get Along?
Parents sometimes appoint:
- All children jointly (must agree on everything) - forces cooperation
- One child with others as replacements
- A professional attorney to avoid conflict
Frequently Asked Questions
Can I set up LPA on my parent's behalf?
No. Only the person themselves (the donor) can make an LPA. You can help, but they must understand and decide.
What if my parent has early dementia?
They may still have enough capacity to make an LPA. A doctor or solicitor can assess. Don't assume it's too late.
Should both parents have LPA?
Yes. Each parent should have their own LPA(s). Even if one parent is younger and healthier, circumstances can change.
Can I be attorney for both parents?
Yes, you can be attorney for both parents' LPAs. This is very common.